Close Eyes, Clear Heart, Let Go

I'm an expert on heart ache.

I know how the tears flood the pillow.

I know the mood swings, angry to sad.

I know of the self inflicted torture, taking blame.

I know the hatred eating at the heart.

I know the love that still exists.

I know of the vanishing future, the empty feeling

I know the revenge that will never amount

I know the doubt that fills the mind with darkness

I know the desperate apologies, attempts to make amends

I know the deleted memories not fully removed

I know the heart broken playlist stuck on repeat

I know the fear of being replaced and forgotten

And then one day...

Comes healing

Comes forgiveness

Comes acceptance

Comes hope

Comes light

Comes closure

Comes knowledge

Comes another

Until then I'll smile in the presence of others, pray for strength to endure and wait for that day.

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go."

"When things are good, love is easy. When things are tough, love is true."

Until We Meet Again

I'll always remember the first day you and your sister knocked on my door. I had just moved into the neighborhood and didn't know a single soul. You were my very first friend. From that day on, we were inseparable: walking to the bus stop together and styling your hair during the ride to school, playing cops and robbers in your house while your dad was at work, making up dances to your 70's cd, the 5th grade talent show, your obsession with Pepsi and your catLucy, our pet frog (Kermit) that we found in my yard and shared every other day even though I never dared to touch him, watching re-runs of The Brady Bunch, and Spongebob, accidentally throwing your retainers away at lunch and having to dig through the trash cans at least once a month. You grew up to be such a beautiful, bright girl. I'm so lucky for the time I had to be in your presence. Your friendship meant the world to me, and I know we will meet again. I'll love you always, Brittany.

Why?oming

If there's one thing that I look forward to every year, it's the annual YSA Jackson Hole/ Snake River rafting trip. Honestly though, being in the freezing water was MISERABLE. I have no idea why I love it so much. We ran the river twice on Friday, and I only fell overboard once. Somehow I survived!

That afternoon we received some awful news. Braxton's little brother, Jared had gone missing while at scout camp. The timing couldn't have been any worse. After our ward quickly gathered together and held a group prayer, Braxton left with our bishop and his wife to join the search party . I know that all of our prayers were answered when news came back that they had found Jared the following morning. The story even made national news!

It was a roller coaster of a weekend. A ton of hilarious memories were made, and stories shared. The people I am surrounded by are one in a million.

Getting In Touch With Our Hooper Roots

Howdy partner! A few weeks ago "the bachelor pad" threw a Cowboy Hoedown party. This included: harmonica lessons around a good ol' fashion bonfire, dutch oven peach cobbler, home-made fudgesicles with hidden messages inside, a dress up photo booth, and of course dancing, lots of dancing! It was a wild and woolly, rough and tumble night. We all love each other around here if you haven't noticed. Yeehaa! All photos courtesy of The Great White Ninja Kade Beus.

Mr. and Mrs. Cook

Two of my very bestest friends were married to each other for time and all eternity on Saturday. The second Cassie walked out those temple doors, I started sobbing. She looked stunning! Her and Bryce had nothing but huge smiles on their faces. The entire day was beautiful, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it. Here's to the best looking husband and wife until I get married! Bahaha jk. I love you guys!

My Best Friend

My little angel turned 3 years old today! Not to brag, but she's the cutest, funniest, and coolest sniecester (sister/niece) around. She loves posing for pictures, and notice we are both wearing black and white polka dots. She insisted that we matched on her birthday. She calls me Pablo, and I call her Uniqua, and we play freeze tag all day long. Happy birthday, Kennadee!

Beautiful Place: Nauvoo

We had the whole temple to ourselves while we did baptisms.

"We're going to see a lot of brick and mortar in Nauvoo, but it's truly about the people."

I lost.

Trail of Hope

Carthage Jail

The bestest travel agents a girl could have!

Just another reason why I love Hooper. A group from my singles ward was able to take a trip of a lifetime to the beautiful Nauvoo. I am forever grateful for the early saints who gave so much and had so little.